China part 5 , Wedding

The reason we went to China, the wedding of Zijing, Zixu's sister, to Tao. What a cute couple!

Perhaps, if there is one thing that stands out for us with China is lavishness -- the Great Wall is thousands of miles long, the Forbidden City ruled an empire of millions for centuries, Beijing is simply MILES of high rises -- and Zijing's wedding was no exception. It can only be described as lavish. But also interesting. I am beginning to think that Americans really don't know how to do weddings!

The first order of business is that the groom comes to pick up the bride from her home at the head of an impressive line up of BMW's or whatever most luxurious car is available (what do I know about cars?) . That's the easy part.

THEN the groom must gain admission to her house, which is guarded by brother and male cousins who have no intention of letting him in unless he pays them for the priviledge. And the priviledge is not cheap. Poor Tao is stuffing red and gold envelopes filled with money through cracks in the door, but those cousins and brother are not going to let him in until he has paid them a lot! (never mind that Tao has already given even more substantial amounts of money beforehand -- Zixu's share of which was spent on us, and his college friends, showing us China). Finally, he has paid enough and is allowed to enter. But Tao's troubles are not over. NOW he must find Zijing's shoes, which have been hidden to show the reluctance of the family to let their daughter leave. The house was so crowded with the bride's relatives that I didn't see this -- but I wouldn't be surprised if Tao had to cough up yet more money for information leading to the location of her shoes! But, however it was, the shoes were found, and placed on her feet. Another important part of the ceremony included Tao feeding noodles to Zijing. Not just any noodles, but noodles made by his mother -- to symbolize that HIS family will now be taking care of her. For me, this whole ocassion was a priviledge and amazing experience, but for Zijing's mother, this was one of many points where tears were swimming in her eyes -- her daughter would now belong to someone else (and in ancient times, the bride's family might never see her again! But it is not like that now.).

Then there were a lot of photos taken -- although, now that I think of it, I didn't see any photos of the bride and groom with their parents, which seems strange to me as an American. Zixu, as the bride's brother had many important duties, which he performed well (here he's carrying a lamp from the bride's home to the groom's family). I'm not quite sure what all the duties were because most of them took place at the groom's village, where he was the sole representative of the bride's family. He says there was food, and so many fireworks that the whole village was smoking. I think they must not have noise ordinances in China because there was seldom a day when we didn't hear fireworks going off (sometimes at 6 am) to mark auspicious ocassions, like weddings (of course) but also the start of building or remodeling projects, and maybe other things we didn't know about. In any case, after everyone left, we waited around the house for a few hours while the groom's family celebrated, and then we left for the hotel for the actual marriage and wedding feast (and feast it was!). Finally, amidst the noise and smoke of yet more fireworks, the impressive entourage of cars arrived at the hotel, and the bride and groom emerged from the lead car to explosions of confetti. Unlike traditional Chinese weddings (according to Zixu), the bride's family was also there. Two floors of the hotel were rented for this ocassion.

The groom's family followed, making their way past a gauntlet of tables where they gave their wedding gifts (unike America, all the gifts were monetary).





And then down the halls flanked with life sized portraits of Zijing and Toa to the main banquet room where the marriage actually took place.



We chose to join the grooms side of the family in their rooms because that's where the actual marriage took place and Zixu and his parents were there, but perhaps the bride's side would have been better because there was a camera filming everything and we would have had a better view of it than we saw at our table way in the back.

Again, there were more traditional things they did. Zijing spent considerable time offering sweets to Tao's family symbolizing that she would be taking care of them from now on, and I especially liked bowing to their parents.


A famous radio personality MC'd the wedding festivities. He had the audience laughing and following along, although for us -- understanding not a word -- it was a little startling to have a TV talk show atmosphere at what we would consider a solemn ocassion. But I think it was not meant to be a solemn ocassion over there!


Despite the wedding portrait I opened this post with, the bride wore traditional western white and she was stunningly gorgeous!



Then it was time to eat. Uninformed Americans that we were, we ate at the grooms table with the grooms family (an expense to the grooms side), and then we transfered to the bride's family where they were waiting for us and had saved a table for us. If we had understood, we probably would have shown up there a lot sooner. The food was fabulous. We could not resist eating again until our bellies groaned. It would not be right if I didn't say something about how generous the hospitality was that we were provided. I rather suspect that life in China is tough, probably tougher than life in America for the average person, but to go there as honored guests and be considered family was amazing. We benefit twice. We very much enjoy having Zixu in our home, and we enjoy their gratitude for our "sacrifice".

After all this, Zijing changed to a traditional colored (but sophisticated modern style) red gown (not pictured -- the red dress to the right is another of the wedding photos that lined the halls) to mingle with guests, and then everybody gradually left. Zijing went to spend three days with the groom's family, which was a sobering experience, but we were all happy to see her come for visits, and after the three days the two of them settled in their apartment.

They went on their honeymoon the day we left China, and Zijing's best friend, and Zixu accompanied them. It has been a long time that brother and sister didn't see each other! Nevertheless, this isn't exactly how I envisioned a honeymoon! I'm sure they all had a great time (and I'm also sure that the couple of honor had plenty of privacy when they wanted it!).

We wish Zijing and Tao a wonderful and happy time as they build a new life together!

Trip to China Part 4 -- Forbidden City

Much has happened in the past few months, but our trip to China was so fascinating, I really want to continue recording it:

In the heart of Beijing lies the Forbidden City, so named because it was the Emperor's home and private property! That said, part at least, of this massive complex was not anciently forbidden but designed to totally awe foreign dignitaries with China's might and power -- at least I assume so based on it's overwhelming effect on me. And now that a good part of the Forbidden City has been restored and turned into a museum, even less of it is forbidden!

<----- In front of it is Tianaman Square, which we've all heard about because there was a massacre there some years ago, but for Zixu it has totally different connotations -- it's a place for massive parades (he knows exactly where he was standing the one time he had an opportunity to participate in one), a place for China's pride, a place he feels good about. And why not?
It is a magnificent place, surrounded by museums (sadly, the national museum was closed for rennovation during our visit), Chairman Mao's tomb ---->
and lots of other huge buildings and offices. I guess it's comparable to our National Mall in Washington DC, although China has had a lot more history and time to to make their showpiece magnificent.

As huge as Tianaman Square is, it is dwarfed by the size of the Forbidden City.
Totally out of place, but interesting, is the portrait of Chairman Mao hanging over the main entrance to the Forbidden City (click on the photo and it will enlarge so you can see it. Then go back to previous screen to return to this blog). This photo does not begin to do justice to the sheer size and grandeur of this landmark. This photo <--- shows the building that greets people coming off the street or out of the subway tunnels. Then we go through a great courtyard, half the size of Tianaman Square, through arches in another huge building/wall complex, another huge courtyard, THEN we finally get to the ticket booths! (the places covered by the brownish awnings to the side of the square arches). ----->

And finally (you are already tired from walking) you can wander through the public parts of the rest of the city. Many of the offices lining the sides of the courtyards have been turned into museums, towards the back are living quarters (restored) for the Emperor, his Empress and many concubines, and gardens.


<----A bedroom with the bed at the very back. I suspect Emperors might have appreciated central heating and A/C, and carpets, but there is no denying that his home was sumptuous and magnificent almost beyond imagining.







The living areas are huge, but don't take up as much space as the massive governmental buildings, apparently even in ancient historical
times government functions took up a lot more space than even the most magnificent Emperor's living space. Of course, the Emperor could also go to his Summer Palace, or Mountain Villa, which are also unbelievably huge (Mountain Villa visited earlier this trip) and with a lot of land around them, which were not accessible to commoners.



There was just way too much to see -- it would take days to see everything, and writing about it in a blog seems even more presumptuous, but not blogging about it seems wrong too--it was just too amazing to forget.

Museum exhibit showing life in the Forbidden City centuries ago --->

There's just too much to show. But this small sample gets the idea across. I just feel such awe when I am in this place, and a deep humility that I am guilty of thinking my life is the whole experience. There is so much in the world I haven't seen or even imagined. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to see some small part of it, and such a magnificent part!