As I've been dealing with my own personal issues, problems, obstacles, pleasures, and crises the past few months, I have lost track more and more of all my friends. Poking my head above the surface for air, I notice one of my dearest friends has become a cancer case. Her blog is full of doctor appointments, MRI's, abnormal and normal days, hair loss, and gratitude for those who support her. I haven't seen her for over a month. She doesn't look like the Lisa I know, and yet, she does. She IS Lisa. A friend I have cherished for many years.
I want to write about the Lisa I know, the one who is still lurking in there among all the anxiety and medical talk. She tells me that she is slow to make friends, that it takes her a long time to get comfortable with people, but it didn't take long with me. Back then she had only two kids, and she would trade me photo albums for babysitting. It was all a plot, because I got hooked into scrapbooking, and have since purchased more than she ever traded me. She makes the most beautiful albums--simple, elegant, and to the point. I've learned a lot from her. I can't believe that with all the photos I take (she must take some responsibility for this), I can't find a photo of her!
She helped me go through my books when we moved, trying to get rid of enough to fit the remainder into the house. Sadly, she has the same tastes as me, and narrowly avoided transferring my excess into her home. She laughed at me--"you don't like empty walls, do you?", but I had the last laugh when her child quotient increased to five, and her walls filled with shelves. She laughs a lot--at different things than me--and she laughs now despite cancer.
We've taken our families and watched the 4th of July fireworks together for years. We keep on taking photos of their displays and keep on scrapbooking them--although, seriously, how can you tell them apart year to year? We have taken not enough little breaks to enjoy our friendship, but both of us know the BYU campus, the roses at the Library, and the canyons around Mount Rainier better because we visited them together. Her house has always been surrounded by beautiful flowers and plants, and most years her garden has even produced some fruit that survived kids and dogs.
I have watched in admiration as she has adopted five kids--most of whom require more than average attention and wisdom. When asked, in the process of adopting some of them, why I thought she wanted more, my first thought was "because she's crazy", but that's not what I wrote on the adoption agency's reference that was the source of the question. And she adopted more. And year after year she has dispensed that more than average attention and wisdom her children need.
As jobs and kids demanded more and more of our time, it was, and is, a comfort to know that we have someone there who will listen with understanding when we had to tell SOMEONE!!! Even when we don't take advantage of that opportunity very often anymore.
We have come a long way since we first met--we both have much larger circles of friendship, family, and inner resources than we did back then. Funny how much we can change, without changing at all. I am grateful for my dear friend Lisa.
Embracing diversity
8 years ago